tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7538801849812784311.post7365370170604194767..comments2023-05-02T04:17:09.271-07:00Comments on [Un] Closeted Pastor: Looking for Love...Ceciliahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10812791378130572065noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7538801849812784311.post-82935746750855169552007-03-28T14:59:00.000-07:002007-03-28T14:59:00.000-07:00I have seen three friends get chewed up and spat o...I have seen three friends get chewed up and spat out by clergy-killer parishes over the last five years, and the denominational policies had nothing to do with what happened in any of the cases: rather, it was a matter of a pathology that got re-enacted on each successive sacrificial victim, I mean, clergyperson. <BR/><BR/>If I were advising someone determined to go into a parish like that, I would say: before you accept the job, get signed statements from the people in the next organizational level up from the parish that they will start meeting with you and with the parish to deal with their problems so they can break whatever cycle they are in. (Better yet, the parish should have an interim who will go through this process with them before they hire another clergyperson.)Ninahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05414248070555399826noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7538801849812784311.post-23067349742476213322007-03-26T18:20:00.000-07:002007-03-26T18:20:00.000-07:00I smiled when I read your comment about looking fo...I smiled when I read your comment about looking for love "in all the wrong places." It just relates to a fair amount of the work I do with some of my clients.<BR/><BR/>I was thinking that one of the pieces of advice I often give them is to put their prospective romantic interests into ambiguous situations with emotional intensity (e.g., meeting their parents) early. Because how their date handles situations where it's not clear precisely what to do is very telling. If they handle it well, it's a sign that they might also handle other ambiguous, emotionally intense situations well (e.g., conflicts). If, on the other hand, they don't handle it particularly well, then they should carefully study their response before deciding if they want to keep dating them.<BR/><BR/>Perhaps there's something similar you can do with prospective parishes?stevehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03275381128126684009noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7538801849812784311.post-26278430177350445272007-03-26T10:46:00.000-07:002007-03-26T10:46:00.000-07:00I wish you patience and discernment. One of the th...I wish you patience and discernment. One of the things I learned from my Quaker friends is to set up a Clearness Committee - a group of folk who know you and whom you trust to be honest and careful - to discuss your call and to give you feedback on your prospective change. It worked for me.sharecropperhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15138522185303347235noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7538801849812784311.post-47040996212553555392007-03-26T09:04:00.000-07:002007-03-26T09:04:00.000-07:00Oy! Peace of Christ in the midst of the call.Oy! Peace of Christ in the midst of the call.KJhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15701224049914946896noreply@blogger.com