Thursday, May 13, 2010

An Anniversary

One year ago today I was getting ready, at this very hour, to sit down with the governing board of my church to place before them a letter telling them their pastor was a lesbian. I remember that as I sat in my office, trying not to hyperventilate, I opened my bible and read psalm after psalm.

O Lord, you have searched me and known me.

The Lord is my shepherd.

God is our refuge and our strength,
a very present help in trouble...
Be stlll, and know that I am God.

And so God is... God is God, and we are not, and it turns out the people of my congregation (beginning with that governing board) don't much care whether their pastor is a lesbian. They care whether she is a good pastor, preaching the Word, sharing the sacraments, visiting the sick and homebound, connecting with people of all ages... none of which I do perfectly, by any stretch, but all of which I try, every day, to do with love.

My revelation has been met with more love than I could have imagined. I am out to my congregation, to many (most) in my area, in and out of the church. I am so, so, so down-on-my-knees grateful, today, to be....

.... free.

Now THAT is worth another Glory! Hallelujah!

12 comments:

Songbird said...

Amen!!!

Julie said...

Praise God I remember that a year ago and the fear I had for you. What a great feeling it must be to be free. We serve a wonderful God.

Wormwood's Doxy said...

Let the people say "Amen!" :-)

Rachel said...

Wow. What a difference a year makes. "They care whether she is a good pastor, preaching the Word, sharing the sacraments, visiting the sick and homebound, connecting with people of all ages..." As it should be. Amen and hallelujah!

MaineCelt said...

Amen, Amen!

PamBG said...

Thank you for sharing this journey with us. I have to confess that, last year, I was very worried for your situation although I admired your courage in coming out to the congregation.

I think Scripture has some things to say about freedom and about perfect love and fear. To me, this is truly a "Gospel story"; a true a gritty Gospel story the reflects both grace and the messy reality of a still imperfect world.

Blessings to you on your continued journey.

Barbara said...

God is good! ... and so are we. I am so happy for you, Cecelia. Three big Hallelujahs:
Hallelujah!
Hallelujah!!
Hallelujah!!!!!!!

Sophia said...

Glory, Hallelujah indeed! God/dess is so good.

God_Guurrlll said...

Praise God from whom all blessings flow! Alleluia! Alleluia!

You made my heart leap with joy today.

ChickPea said...

Your blog leaves me in no doubt at all but that the Spirit of the Living God is certainly moving within the Body of Christ to affirm the Great Love of The Almighty to all - Jew or Gentile, slave or free, male or female, tall or short - and totally regardless of orientation, education, eye/skin/hair colour, singleness or partnered.

God is Good.

Would that the human hierarchy of the Church would learn that God is Love, and step down from their high horses (noted elsewhere as "a vain thing for safety" !)

Thank you for your blog - I shall re-visit. x

Jones said...

I remember the feeling I had reading your blog a year ago and waiting for the response........what hope you have given to others in positions of leadership and ministry. God is still on the throne! Amen!

Processing Counselor said...

Boy, I sweated through this with you!