Monday, May 28, 2007

Marked

A recent pair of Christian Century articles talk about tattooing, its mainstreaming (is it possible that almost one in five Americans are tattooed? Really?) and the Christian response/ perspective. One article (by Tim Keel, emergent guy and pastor of Jacob's Well) is more of a "surveying the landscape" of tattooing and the kinds of tattoos Christians might get (a cross?). The other article, by Beth Felker Jones, a biblical scholar, offers some scriptural perspective and a challenge to the notion that tattoos are a "witness," suggesting there are other ways to show that we have been "marked for life" by Christ.

About ten years ago a good friend celebrated her 40th birthday by getting a tattoo-- a wolf, just over where she was guessing her ovary might be. I remember thinking that it was quite a cool way to celebrate that landmark, and wondering if I might not do something like that... kind of edgy.

A few years prior to that, I was swimming frequently at a local gym. As a result of that habit I was being confronted regularly with what I now recognize was my discomfort at being in the presence of women in various states of undress. One woman particularly intrigued me because of a tattoo she had: a thin ring of ivy around her ankle. I thought it was beautiful and quite alluring. At the same time, I couldn't quite see my way to making a plan to get one myself.

I have been thinking about these articles and memories this week, and it finally hit me that I have one memory of tattoos that goes back even further. I was 18 or 19, and I was in college in a big Northeastern city. I was, for the first time in my life, enjoying the kind of adventure and freedom that a small town girl experiences when she leaves the nest. I went to foreign films. I ate Chinese food for the first time (hilarious in retrospect... now as ubiquitous as McDonald's). I rode the subway. I saw homosexuals up close.

One night I was riding the subway, I assume with a friend, but I might have been on my own. We were going into the city-- to a concert? Play? Movie? Those specifics are lost to me now, but the following memory is vivid. Sitting across from me were two young women whom I figured out pretty quickly were lesbians . They didn't look any older than I was. They were dressed in a way my children now might describe as "goth" or "indie." They had lots of chains, and really short hair, and piercings in places I'd never seen before. And they both had the same tattoo-- a tattoo of a small chain, circling the fourth finger of their left hands.

I remember feeling a kind of stirring in myself... I was not, at that point in my life, prepared to seriously consider that I might be a lesbian, despite the fact that I'd known myself to have "those feelings" for other women at least since the age of 13. Still, I had this stirring, which I would describe as a mixture of desire and fear and longing. And the impossibility of it all. All because of seeing those tattoos.

I wonder where those young women are now, now that they are middle-aged lesbians? Are they still together (which, of course, would seem to have been the intention behind the tattoos that functioned as wedding rings)? Or, as with so many college-age relationships, are they each but a fond (or awful) memory for the other? And what do they feel now about marking themselves so dramatically for one another, for their love, in a world that was at least 25 years less willing than it is right now to acknowledge and celebrate it?

For what and whom would I be willing to so mark myself?

8 comments:

Songbird said...

I have a morbid fear of tattoos, but I love the image of those rings and the way you wrote this whole entry.

Cecilia said...

Thanks Songbird... while you were responding I added another paragraph...

Pax, C.

Grandmère Mimi said...

At my ripe old age, I would like to have a tattoo, a small one on the outside of one ankle. I saw one the other day that was close to what Id like. It was a small shamrock.

I would not want a shamrock, but I'm not sure what figure I would want. However, I'm afraid of the needles, so I think it won't happen.

Mother Laura said...

Yeah, I'm way chicken too, plus I am afraid of that permanent a commitment. But I think religious tattoos are cool. I saw a woman at our apartment pool with the Greek words for faith, hope and love on her low back. Love was, of course, greatest in size :-).

jledmiston said...

Great post.

I've never been a tattoo person, but our son got one "for Christmas" last year -- a Rho Chi. Hmmm. I never thought of him as marking himself as a Christ follower, but maybe that was the case.

Probably won't get one myself, but I can see why people would, especially in terms of being "marked." (I'm haunted by the Sat. Night Live skit about the middle aged/older woman whose tattoo drooped as she aged.)

Bill said...

Well, I have five tatoos and counting. I had my first just after coming out four years ago. My favorite is a tatoo of an angel on my right forearm. All my tats are my own ideas, working with the tatoo artist. I don't care much for the stock offerings. Some of them were quite painful. It's funny how when you're going through the pain, you say "Never again", but a few weeks later, you're thinking of getting another one. The pain is part of the process. When you look at someone's tatoo, you see the art and appreciate the thought behind the art, but you also know what kind of pain was endured and that creates a kind of bond.

Jennifer said...

Back again! I read Christian Century, and I found the articles really fascinating. I have found myself similarly stirred by memories of encountering women together earlier in life--though I have no image like the tattoos to anchor the memories and thoughts; I loved this--and have enjoyed a recent journey of a couple of years of accepting a wider possibility of intimacy and love in my identity....even if not practically in my life with my husband at this time. This was a truly beautiful post. Thank you.

angrylilazngrl said...

i am tattooed. i have only words on my body. chinese for "to believe" and "hope". i have also "truth takes time," all in places that can be visible if i want them to be.