By the lectionary readings, that is. That they are speaking to me? Old news.
7For the LORD your God is bringing you into a good land, a land with flowing streams, with springs and underground waters welling up in valleys and hills, 8a land of wheat and barley, of vines and fig trees and pomegranates, a land of olive trees and honey, 9a land where you may eat bread without scarcity, where you will lack nothing, a land whose stones are iron and from whose hills you may mine copper. 10You shall eat your fill and bless the LORD your God for the good land that he has given you. ~ Deuteronomy 8:7-10
This passage is one I have echoing in my head, not from years as a minister, or as a Christian, or as a devout student of scripture. No, I hear it in the voice of Jane Powell, playing the part of Milly in the film "Seven Brides for Seven Brothers." She knows her bible better than I, and quotes from this passage as she leads the unruly Pontipee brothers in grace before a meal. I hear it this moment as a word of encouragement, saying: don't be afraid. This land you're going to is a good one. This place will be a place of bounty, not want.
This, of course, is relevant to the whole "having a job" issue. It is a reality of my plan to come out that the end result may be that I am no longer the pastor of my congregation. This is something I dread, in one sense... this call took a long time to find me, and I feel that we are so well-suited to one another. My gifts seem to find a home here, at least judging by what the members tell me. There is also the issue of money. I have some savings (though less and less each every day, as the market continues to drain). That was supposed to be "retirement money," but the reality is that my family and I wouldn't be out on the street (in fact, I own my home outright: no mortgage to worry about). Would I be unemployable as a minister in my town? Most likely. Not for certain. If my denomination continues to enforce its current policies, it would be tough.
I hear the scriptures inviting me to take my head out of these particular "what if's?" and focus instead on the incredible sense of abundance and freedom that would result from my being able to be who I truly am, in all places and circumstances. I am getting a taste of it, a whiff of that heady, clean air.