Thursday, April 2, 2009

Lenten Breather: Meet Sam and a Couple of Friars and a Fool

Friends, I'd like you to meet a new friend. Sam, meet the folks who have gathered together in my little closet (it's not as dark in here as you'd think.... the door seems to have cracked way open lately). Sam is the proprietor of Crying in the Night, and I think you should all get acquainted. I seem to detect she is of the Presby variety.

Through Sam I have become familiar with the three folks here: Two Friars and A Fool. Sounds like my kind of people. In particular, I urge you to read this wonderful piece. Here's a little sample:

Those who believe homosexuality is a sin have a very pithy answer to the question why: because the Bible says so. It is a maddeningly over-simplistic answer. A clever retort with no depth that willfully obscures a host of important issues and questions, and intentionally ignores ambiguity in scripture. Nevertheless it is their constant refrain so it must be addressed.

All of the relevant passages of scripture have been pored over again and again by scholars in obsessive detail. I will not rehash that work here, nor pass judgment on it. You can form your own opinion about what various verses of scripture do or do not mean in relation to homosexuality. I will comment here in a more general fashion about the use of the Bible in moral reasoning.

The Bible doesn't "say" anything. The Bible has no will. It is an inanimate object. Everything we take from the Bible we do by effort and interpretation....

See what I mean? Good stuff. Now go! Read!


Sam said...

Wow, Cecilia, I feel a bit shy now! I've been hangin' around here for a while so I feel like I already know everyone.

Count me as one more in your closet of prayer supporters.

And if everyone could keep my daughter in their prayers as she deals with her gender identity with out self-medicating. She's been clean and sober 9 months now. But still is very angry at God and the church.

Just me said...

Thank you Cecilia for your comment to me. I knew your children knew - I just wondered if you had not been a pastor whether you would have come out sooner or would have waited if your children were younger. My girlfriend/ex - your guess is as good as mine - doesn't want to be the one to rock their world, but not by telling them she is gay - rather admitting to them that she and their fathers marriage is over despite still living in the same house on a roommate basis. She feels the only way she can face telling them or it coming up is if she is single when they ask so somehow it will seem less bad. She will appear less guilty, less selfish. I guess the question is why would I want to be with someone who is ashamed of their relationship with me. But love does not alter when it alteration finds, nor bends with the remover to is an ever fixed mark. What do I do? How do I go on? My children 2 and 5 know I love her - that she is special to me. Is there an age to know you love someone is too young?

LittleMary said...

very interesting, good stuff indeed.

Cecilia said...

Just me, first let me say that your situation sounds painful for you, and i am so sorry. I think it is so hard for us to know what we would do if this or that about our situation were different. But, I think I can answer some of your questions.

If I had not been a pastor I would have come out sooner to my children, no matter their age. (As it was, they were 13 and 18 when they learned about my relationship with beloved). For me the key issue was not how old they were; I think it is perfectly good and natural that very young children be told about love, and understand that it is present. For me the key issue was: was my being in a lesbian relationship congruent, continuous with what I had previously told them/ taught them about love and relationships? And from the youngest ages I taught them (and their dad did too) that gay and lesbian people are just the same as everyone else; they simply love someone of the same sex, and that is fine. God makes us all different ways! The one and only reason I delayed telling my children was that I did not want to make them somehow responsible for keeping my secret; that didn't seem fair. (I only told my son when he asked a direct question; I told my daughter because I had reason to believe I was about to be outed, and needed her to hear it from me first).

I think I'm hearing something different about your partner, though. It sounds to me like she is not quite at peace with her sexual identity. Would you say that's accurate? If not, I think she needs to do some work around that with a therapist or counselor, and probably it would be better to do that before she tells her children. Kids do pick up on the deeper emotions, and I think she does NOT want to expose them to any idea that she is or should be ashamed.

God bless you Just Me. You will be in my prayers.

Pax, C.

Cecilia said...

Sam, your daughter is in my prayers. I'm sorry she is having a hard time. I can offer no defense for the church; I'm sure Jesus is weeping over the damage we've done.

Pax, C.

Aric Clark said...


A pleasure to encounter your blog, which I see has been here for a while and I'd yet to bump into it. Thanks for the introduction.

I hope your closet fills with so much love that it bursts and carries you out into the light on a wave of support and celebration.

Jan said...

What great people, blogs, and links! Thanks, Cecilia.

August said...

That's, like, the smartest thing I've ever read about homosexuality and the bible.

Just me said...

Thank you Cecilia. It seems so strange that is not your name??!!?? I'm don't think my girlfriend is confused over her sexuality - more scared of her children hating her for not loving their father. We are continuing on - it would be impossible not to - when someone is your best friend too.
I think for now she is in the place to tell them that she and their father are not together...the rest will come - but I agree therapy with someone who knows about sexual identity would not be a bad idea at all - scary for me - but a good idea.
Best wishes.