Did you ever sit at your desk in your office and feel lonely? That's what happened to me yesterday. I wandered in a mental wilderness and tried like crazy to focus on my work, all the while thinking about all manner of extraneous things, things I couldn't do anything about, things I should do something about but am not sure how to proceed.
This is the last complaint along these lines, but, wow, the early onset Lent still has me in a tailspin.
And then, from this morning's lectionary readings: this, seemingly tailor-made for my Lenten quest:
Not that I have already obtained this or have already reached the goal; but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Beloved, I do not consider that I have made it my own; but this one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the heavenly call of God in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:12-14
Forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead... because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Yes. Amen.
6 comments:
I wandered in a mental wilderness and tried like crazy to focus on my work, all the while thinking about all manner of extraneous things, things I couldn't do anything about, things I should do something about but am not sure how to proceed.
so. many. days. like. this.
and they suck.
and the loneliness in the office thing? yup.
sometimes i especially have days like this after rich, productive times away with people i love. not that that is a factor for you or anything.
breathing deeply for you. hoping today is much. much. much. better.
Lonely at the desk? Of course. Sometimes deliciously happy there too, but more lonely times of late. This can and will change. But being in the present is probably a good response. Mindfulness. Zen practice can be really helpful for Christians, I've found.
Take it step by step, day by day or even hour by hour.
A thought just occurred to me as I was writing. I wonder whether this practice of honoring the body will bring new perspectives on the realities of being closeted or uncloseted. It certainly feels related.
I continue to pray blessings on your Lenten journey. Be kind to yourself.
That's a fantastic and inspiritional verse. Stick with it.
Perhaps it was a general malaise yesterday ... I also couldn't really concentrate at my desk, although I got a number of things done and sorted. However, I got to the end of the day and wondered what I had achieved.
And then I remembered.
It's not I who achieves anything, but the Holy Spirit through me. I really don't have to worry about it at all, but just do what I can do, and leave the rest to Him (Her). And that realisation may be all that Lent requires.
A day or two later...
Cecilia, don't get discouraged. And don't see us as censors or watchdogs of any kind (I'm saying this in case you are not feeling like posting if things don't "go well"). We're supporting you and accompanying you.
Yes, yes and yes. You are not alone. Resonance on every front, especiallt for many reasons this year. Praying for and with you.
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