Which is to say, what Lent? I am living a dreadful example right now (should any of my parishioners care to take notice). Rather than enter a time of quiet reflection (morning prayer? who has time for morning prayer?) I am pretty much running 16 hours a day.
It's not good.
It's Saturday morning, and I have already worked more than 50 hours this week, and I have a full day of church obligations ahead of me.
Also, what girlfriend? And what family?
Hope your Lent is a little more sane than mine is working out to be.
Over and out.
10 comments:
love you, cecilia.
breathe.
hi, cecilia.
i have just wandered over here from...hmm, i can't remember where i came from, actually. (i don't have THAT bad a short-term memory, but i found your blog the other day and noted it down without actually investigating it until just now). i've just read the first couple posts on this page, and the first couple all the way back at your beginning--about a year ago, i suppose?
i'm intrigued to read more and learn more about you and your journey. i relate in a vague--i'm not a pastor, nor am i closeted anymore, but i have some things in common. my partner and i were both full-time missionaries with a campus ministry (i don't suppose you've heard of intervarsity?) until i came out of the closet. actually, i didn't even say i personally was GLBT--just said i no longer believed it should be considered a sin. that was enough to ask for my letter of resignation. and well...you can imagine how that goes.
i want to wish you so much blessing, at the same time as i harbor a tiny bit of hidden (!) jealousy that you are still in ministry. i miss a lot of things about it...both what i was able to do in serving and also what i received in being a part of that community. right now my spouse and i are in buenos aires (because she is paraguayan and cannot get into the states) and we do have a small christian LGBT community, but there is so much that i miss. ah, i've said that already :)
i am really sorry for writing so much! but i am really excited to find you 'out there'! just ignore the middle paragraphs if it's too much to read ;)
many blessings, and will be back to read more. thank you so much for being here.
(p.s. i believe this will link to our blog, but it's not very impressive--i believe we only made one entry in it, and that last year...)
I think Lent as we know it should be banned.
With all the demands on time, it's pretty tough to squeeze in quiet reflection! :(
Oh, dear, Cecelia.
Well, we're only half-way through -- you've got a second chance.
(((Cecilia)))
I hear ya, girl. Got a day job, plus a half-time church job, plus a choir that I direct on the side.
Date night (Sunday evening, normally sacrosanct for me and my partner of 10 years) suffered this week, and I can't remember the last time I went to the gym, sat quietly with a book, or just took 10 minutes at the beginning of the day for God. And I'm planning worship experiences for 200 people every week. Sigh. You'd think I'd learn. :-)
BUT isn't Lent about God's invitation to "turn around and come closer?" I think that's an open invitation, even when we keep making the same mistake. We get to pull up our socks and try again. God's still there, when you & I are each ready to acknowledge our own need to participate more fully in that relationship.
Grace and peace to you, Sister.
I know how you feel....
I've often wondered how clergy ever get anything out of Lent, Easter, or Christmas, since they work like dogs during all the seasons the rest of us are trying to meditate on our relationship with God.
Don't be so hard on yourself, my friend. And think about scheduling a retreat for yourself and Beloved after Easter.
At busy times I hate being reminded of the quote I have on my email signature:
"The rush and pressure of modern life is a form, perhaps the most common form, of its innate violence. To allow oneself...to surrender to too many demands, to commit oneself to too many projects, to want to help everyone ineverything, is to succumb to violence. More than that, it is cooperation in violence." Thomas Merton, Conjectures of a Guilty Bystander
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