An interesting thing is happening. I was reading a friend's blog about her decision to give up sugar, and I became intrigued with this idea. Mind you. I've done it before, only to, well, stop doing it. The last time I did that my going back to sugar coincided with a fairly traumatic life event (a death). And since then I've been unable to sustain it for more than a day or two.
But at the end of last week I came to a place of... well, tiredness, I think. Tired of feeling unwell. Tired of straining to buckle a seat belt. Tired of being terrified to get on an airplane for fear of crowding some stranger unacceptably. Tired of being tired. And so, with great reluctance, and some sadness, because, you know, I love sugar... I decided to stop. Just stop for now.
And something interesting is happening. First of all, the physical craving is dying down (though there were a couple of tough days at first). And the fatigue is passing (I had a terrible day in front of the computer Tuesday, but that seems to have been the last of it). I am finding I have more energy. I am finding I feel more focused on my work. And yesterday, as the thought of a much-loved sweet treat passed through my mind, my firm thought was, "So not worth it."
Last night Beloved and I had dinner, and I tried something new on the menu of our favorite funky haunt. I never do that. I always have the same thing. Last night I tried something new. Beloved said, "What are you doing?" And so I told her about the sugar decision. (I hadn't before, because I didn't want to disappoint her when I failed. How about that confidence?). She smiled at me over her wine, and said, "I thought you looked kind of sparkly."
And the thing I complained about last time? Getting better. Lent. Getting better.