I am awaiting the beginning of a meeting of the church council. Tonight they must decide:
A. Do they still want me to be their pastor, given my "situation"? (I believe the answer to this is "Yes.")
B. Do they want to renew my contract for another two years (given the "news" about me)?
OR
C. Do they want me to become their permanent pastor?
Option B has some things going for it. Under our system, it could go through the regional governing body with greater ease. Pastorally, it could be a way to reach out to those who are disaffected by my "status."
Can you tell I'm tired of all the euphemisms?
How about this: Do they want me to be their pastor, given that I'm a lesbian in a relationship?
There, that feels better.
There's something about everyone's (including my) inability to say the words "gay" or "lesbian" or "homosexual" that feels like we're all talking about something that makes us just a wee bit ashamed. I'm unhappy with that. I feel that I need to lead the way in helping everyone gain greater comfort with the language. But it is a balancing act. What feels like too much focus on sexuality pushes us into a zone of discomfort that I'm not sure is necessary.
Prayers, please: that I might be able to walk the line with integrity.
6 comments:
Always, dear one. Please let us know what happens at the meeting when you can.
It's a fine line to be walking, especially since others needn't say "I'm a straight person in a relationship." (Doesn't that just bite your butt?) Hopefully in time everyone will find the courage to - call a spade a spade, a lesbian a lesbian and then just forget about it and get on with the real business of life. For now, know that many out here are pulling for you.
Maybe someday it will be like having blue eyes. Or red hair. Less common, equally accepted, barely noticed. We can only hope.
yeah, all the "language" around it is pretty shameful, i wish people could understand that. how did it go?
Prayers for you.
Prayers for you.
How'd it go?
thinking of you this morning....
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