Sunday, May 18, 2008

Unbloggable

Every once in a while... actually, with great regularity... something happens in my life that I'd really love to share, but which is unbloggable. It is not bloggable because to share even the bare outlines of the situation would be to risk coming out much more swiftly than I am prepared to do.

This said, I want to share that recently:

* Two people I love clashed professionally. It was not pretty. I still await, with a slightly sick feeling in the pit of my stomach, the fallout.

* I placed myself in a situation where I was very, very publicly among the LGBTQ community. Television cameras were involved. Ditto fallout, sort of. There is still a way in which I feel, Come what may, I am ready for it.

Everything I read about this week with regards to today's lessons on the Trinity pointed to relationship as the core meaning. God is not at a remove. God, in essence, is relationship, both internally and in regards to human beings. And God creates us to be in relationship as well. As my head clears (day 28 of no sugar, 13 of no flour), I recognize that the business of being in relationship has always come with a measure of fear. I guess I could blame it on the parenting I received as a child... isn't that what we do? But my path is my path. And I believe, in many ways, that God helps us make our way into situations that speak to whatever our core condition might be. For me, it is fear in and around relationships. And here I am.

Blessings this Trinity Sunday.

13 comments:

FranIAm said...

Oh Cecilia, my heart to you.

The Trinity - a reminder that is at once demanding and yet completely filled with love. It is the reminder to enter into being who we really are.

LittleMary said...

super interesting, the relationship fear, look forward to talking more about this.

more cows than people said...

((((cecilia))))

Barb said...

Blessings to you too, as you walk your walk with integrity. But, integrity doesn't come simply, so prayers as well as blessings to you this night.

Ruth Hull Chatlien said...

Bless you in your process.

Jan said...

((Cecilia))

In the Diamuid O'Murchu book I am reading right now, he keeps repeating "the relational matrix" meaning "God." God is all relationship. You're already saying and living this.

Wormwood's Doxy said...

You remain in my prayers, my friend.

I'm interested in your sugar/flour fast. Do you do artificial sweeteners? And how much time does eating like this take (because I'm assuming that you are eating largely fresh foods...)?

Hidden in Christ said...

blessings to you too C!

thanks, as always, for your enlightening words!

Songbird said...

And I believe, in many ways, that God helps us make our way into situations that speak to whatever our core condition might be.

I believe it, too.

Cecilia said...

I do artificial sweeteners, Doxy.. Splenda seems to work best. But I find I'm not so wed to them. In fact, I am finding fruits and vegetables to be incredibly sweet now. Carrots are sweet! Who knew?

daisy said...

Breathing wordless prayers for you.

It's hard to hold the tension and just let things be what they are, no matter what the situation. There is just more at stake here.

You are a woman of integrity. When you stand for your convictions even though it may not be a popular place, you pay a price, but the price you pay if you don't stand is much, much higher.

Doorman-Priest said...

So has the fall out been a nightmare?

Anonymous said...

At a protest (of an ex-gay conference catering to parents), I thought I might get my 15 seconds of fame, but it turned out to be 2 seconds, and I was at the edge of the screen and very small. Since it was very cold, people were identifiable mostly by their parkas.

NancyP